In the last few decades, modern medicine has advanced immensely - paving the way for many people to create the families they’ve always dreamed of but were unable to create. And while modern medicine is opening new doors and improving the lives of so many people, society lingers behind. The use of egg donors and fertility treatments in general can be a taboo topic for some. As your family-building journey unfolds, the last thing you should worry about is the opinions of others. Therefore, it’s good to read up on some tips on how to discuss the use of donor eggs with friends and family.
First, you should think about why you want to share the fact that you’re using donor eggs - or why you don’t want to share the process with others:
Reasons for sharing
Sharing reduces the stigma around assisted reproduction
Sharing allows you to get support from friends and family during this unique experience
Keeping secrets can be hard - sharing with those closest to you may reduce your own anxiety
Reasons for not sharing
You want to avoid ignorant or intrusive questions
The need for privacy on your journey
Fears that others knowing might affect how they view the child
Whatever reasoning you land on, it’s important to determine what parts you’re comfortable with sharing. These are some helpful points to make the process easier:
Educate
Many people do not understand the process of using donor eggs because they’ve never explored the topic. Therefore, some questions might arise, making this a great way to share educational resources and information to help them better understand.
Set yourself up for success
Pick a private and comfortable place to have the conversation. It could be your home or a quiet cafe in public—whatever you feel most comfortable with. Let your friend or family member know in advance what you’re looking for from them—whether it's emotional or practical support, answering questions, or simply that you want them to be aware but are not planning on discussing further.
Controlling the narrative
Remember this is your journey - you control the narrative. This includes setting personal boundaries in conversations and preparing responses to insensitive questions ahead of time. At the end of the day, you are bringing a new life into the world - the how behind it should not be of importance.
Prepared answers
You are never required to tell anyone about your fertility journey. While people may be curious about your experience using an egg donor, have a game plan for how to respond to unwanted questions. Be polite but set firm boundaries. And if necessary, remain vague but positive when answering difficult questions. Highlight the fact that you and/or your partner are just happy that you’re finally becoming a parent(s).
Ultimately, the choice to tell friends and family is entirely up to you. Your journey is yours and yours alone - whether you want to stay private or share the details of your journey. Signature takes pride in assisting you through your family-building journey. To learn more about the additional resources we offer, including counseling services, please reach out to your coordinator.
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